WRiter: pHreaKie
Title: KENNY DIES IN SERIOUS MISHAP	
Date: Mar 31
Sect: MIsc


			KENNY DIES IN SERIOUS MISHAP	   



		   Authorities have yet to officially
                   confirm the identity of the youth, but
                   according to eyewitnesses, nine-year
                   old Kenny of South Park was
                   horrifically murdered last evening by
                   several bastards. 

                   Kenny was purportedly walking with
                   friends when he inadvertently tripped
                   and fell into a boiling pot of oil. After
                   this unfortunate occurrence, his head
                   popped off, apparently because his
                   blood boiled and the pressure of the
                   steam was too great. The head
                   careened through the air before
                   landing on the cement sword of an
                   anonymous man on a horse. The head
                   remains on the sword while
                   authorities question the stranger.

                   Long time friends Kyle and Stan were
                   there to witness the event. Distraught
                   over the death of their  friend, the pair
                   repeated, "Oh my God, they killed
                   Kenny!" The children did not name
                   the assailants but they continuously
                   referred to them as, "You bastards!"

                   Another eyewitness to the tragic
                   death, an obese youngster named
                   Cartman walked around the scene
                   complaining that no one was listening
                   to his pain. The big-boned boy was
                   suffering from an acute case of
                   hunger.

                   Funeral arrangements have not yet
                   been made, as Kenny's family is too
                   poor to afford anything more than the
                   cost of a one-hour shovel rental.